Kerry Underwood

GENOCIDAL MONSTER GETS LEGAL AID

with 6 comments


 

One week and we already have MORE READERS THAN THE NEWS OF THE WORLD!

Everyday, every lawyer, law student etc., especially at parties, is asked:

                “How can you represent someone that you know is guilty?”

 neatly encapsulating the fact that:

-                     All people are guilty of everything;

-                     All lawyers are bent;

-                     Only people who do not need representing should be represented.

Lawyers’ responses include:

 1.         Slowly and carefully explaining the presumption of innocence, the rule of law and the cab-rank rule, that is that we take the next case that comes along.

 2.         Saying “It could be your son or daughter”.

 3.         Asking how the questioner can work for X corporation which [uses child labour] [causes global meltdown] [supplies arms to not very nice governments] [used to advertise in the News of the World].

 4.         Pouring yet another drink.

So here is the news as non-lawyers would like it.

 “Mr Johnny Foreigner, 32, genocidal drug-dealing war-lording phone-hacking slave-trafficking fundamentalist mercenary of Aspidistra Crescent, represented by Petronella Prod-Up, 14, intern at LSC firm Bustall and Co (deceased), importers of Vietnamese cross-country skiing aids, was found guilty at Guantanamo Bay Magistrates Court, Surrey, by Coronation Street star Judge Tim Tom Trotter, 16, currently starring in “I’m a Celebrity Big Brother Apprentice – get me out of here”.

Thoughts of a dry brain in a dry season

(T S Eliot: Gerontion)

6 Responses

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  1. What happened to lawyer’s response no. 4?

    Col

    August 2, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    • Edited within 5 minutes to make “5″ become “4″ – you were so quick! The lawyer’s response No 4, which never made it, was:

      “And the laugh is that it’s legal aid so you are paying for it through your taxes! (Less popular with lawyers since legal aid rates fell below the minimum wage.”

      Ezra Pound took it out. Should it have been left in?

      kerryunderwood

      August 2, 2011 at 7:18 pm

  2. Good Lawyers have a talent that can only be developed over a number of years in practice. knowing how to analyse cases, the applicable law as well as exceptions in the law, to come to a conclusion that would be most beneficial to a client. a lawyer would show you the basics of the law but a good lawyer knows the exceptions that could be advantageous to a case. people that need proper legal counsel would not go to a supper market to buy one off the shelf.

    mindsetco

    August 2, 2011 at 7:38 pm

  3. Absolutely agree but I fear that people WILL go to supermarkets – literally – for legal advice. People go to unqualified will-writers – normally with disastrous results – about one of the most important things in their lives.Lawyers need to improve their service levels big-time, but pretending that the answer is totally unqualified people doing law is dangerous nonsense.

    kerryunderwood

    August 2, 2011 at 7:58 pm

  4. Carrying on the theme: People doing jobs they aren’t qualified to do…that would never happen at a global news organisation where there is no such thing as nepotism, right? Oops too late.

  5. Or at the banks – all highly trained and very successful – biggest recipients of welfare benefits.The next bank should be allowed to go under. Propping up banks makes no more sense than propping up lame duck industries. Hardly any big business is well run.

    kerryunderwood

    August 12, 2011 at 4:41 pm


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