Posts Tagged ‘ABS’
RACING UNCERTAINTIES
The Great Legal Profession De-Regulation Stakes
Westminster: 6 October 2011
| Sponsors: | Office of Fair Trading sired out of Jealousy and Nihilism |
| Prize: | Destruction of the one part of the constitution still functioning. |
| Runners: | |
| ASDA: | Fixed Price Guarantee! |
| Handicap: £9.39 million fine for price fixing. | |
| SAINSBURYS: | Handicap: Fined £11 million yesterday for price fixing. |
| Try Something New today? | |
| TESCO: | Handicap: £10 million price fixing fine. Every Little Helps. |
| NEWS | |
| INTERNATIONAL: | Won’t be able to hack it. |
| NORTHERN ROCK: | Poor on the home run, or anything to do with homes. |
| CO-OPERATIVE | |
| FUNERAL SERVICES: | Dead Certs. |
| LLOYDS HBOS: | Seeking to diversify. Might try running a bank. |
| Not one for the Journey. | |
| ROYAL BANKRUPT | |
| OF SCOTLAND: | Took £22 billion in one day! Unfortunately it was from us. |
| Would have funded 10 YEARS of legal aid. | |
| Rank. Outsider. | |
All prizes donated by the Office of Fair Trading out of fines levied on supermarkets for price-fixing; that is the same Office of Fair Trading whose report led to the de-regulation of the legal profession allowing all of the law-breaking price fixing supermarkets to become law firms.
Well done OFT!!
Going: Awful to even worse
Distance: 900 years
Rust that clings to the form that strength has left
Hard and curled and ready to snap.
T S Eliot: Rhapsody on a Windy Night
Legal Aid dies – aged 63
The death of civil Legal Aid, born in 1948, has been announced in the Legal Aid, Sentencing and Punishment of Offenders Bill.
A spokesperson for the Legal Aid family said:
“Legal Aid used to be a voucher scheme, with clients having an unrestricted choice of solicitors, all of whom did legal aid and who received the same fee.
“Clients paid means-tested contributions and solicitors paid 10% of their fees, including those received from a losing party, to the Law Society to administer legal aid, which thus made a profit in many cases for the Legal Aid Fund.
“It cost the taxpayer almost nothing, and most taxpayers had access to legal aid. It was very healthy and very popular.
“Then the big business profit centre mediocre middle management statists radicalized our Legal Aid. Individual clients meant nothing; solicitors meant nothing. Mass contracts and “matter starts” replaced justice, quality and professionalism.
“Most of Legal Aid’s friends deserted him; he had become unpleasant due to his terrible ‘big business syndrome’.
“This strange cult decided that Not for Profit organisations were the answer. These were Alternative Non-Business Structures funded by the State, but public spending cuts mean that they are all dying too; the Immigration Advisory Service and Law for All have just been buried and 18 out of 56 Law Centres are terminally ill.
“People do not realize how terrible this cult is and how it is infecting every area of British life.
“All Solicitors were friends of Legal Aid and then he lost most of them. His death is a release from this terrible curse.”
The Legal Aid family hopes that one day a cure will be found and request that all donations be sent to “Small is Beautiful”.
“Glance is the enemy of vision”
Ezra Pound
