THE QUEEN TO BE SOLD!
Vince Rat has announced that the Queen is to be privatised. Rat said:
“Now that we have sold the Mail, let us sell the Royal.”
Dismissing suggestions that the main purchasers of Royal Mail shares were UKIP members who thought that they were buying the Daily Mail, Rat said that the sale of the Queen made economic sense:
“Let’s face it, like the Royal Mail she has not got long to go, so we need to cash in now. It is like a footballer who will soon be out of contract.”
Ed Megabland said:
The Bill will appear in the Queen’s Speech brought to you by the makers of Carlsberg during the Barclays State Opening of Parliament.
The McDonalds House of Commons will debate the Sale Of The Queen Bill early next month with the vote expected to take place before SkySports Remembrance Sunday as financiers believe that Her Budweiser Majesty’s appearance at the Tesco Cenotaph during the flotation will help get the share price up.
His Royal Kelloggs Highness The Prince of Wales, declined to comment on the news that bidding is under way for the sponsorship rights to his Coronation. A spokesman said:
“That is a matter for the Aviva Westminster Abbey and the Sainsbury’s Archbishop of Canterbury”.
A dissenting note was struck by Fred Sensible,57, who said:
“So we buy what we already own and then get bribed with our own money. I don’t see the point of that.”
” Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it.”