GAGA LAW – slogan – The More They Dribble The Less They Quibble – has spotted a gap in the legal market and is seeking to exploit this by becoming an ABS.
The gap is for those lacking capacity or already dead.
Chairman Charlie Cadaver, 132, himself long dead, criticized traditional law firms saying that dead people and those lacking capacity were not catered for.
“Solicitors simply will not take instructions from those lacking capacity. They insist on out of date procedures such as Powers of Attorney and the Court of Protection and such old rubbish. We have a case management system which simply gives us the instructions that the person might have given us if they had capacity. Normally this involves a big fee to us”.
Deceased people will be catered for by DeadRight LLP. Partner Christine Corpse, 3½ , said that dead people saw their legacies being squandered and could do nothing about it. Being just 3½ she did not quite put it like that.
Miss Corpse appeared to be unfamiliar with Chapter 2 of the Solicitors Code of Conduct dealing with Equality and Diversity.
Chairman of rival ABS holding company, Drop, Peter Chrysanthemum, who may or may not have been under the influence of a Class A drug, was too busy paying close attention to his laptop to comment, but was later heard singing, to the tune of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds:
“Picture yourself with a massive great debt
Thirty four pence in the pound
Assets of £3 billion or just forty-seven
Practising law is just hea-ven”
A spokesman for the Solicitors Regulation Authority declined to comment.
A spokesman for the Legal Services Board declined to comment.
A spokesman for the Legal Services Ombudsman declined to comment.
The Coalition Government and Her Majesty’s Opposition remain committed to the Legal Services Act.
On 20 November 2013 a consultation opened on a proposal that would allow the Solicitors Regulation Authority to fine “traditional”, that is properly regulated and disciplined, law firms up to £100,000.00, as compared with the current maximum of £2,000.00, that is an increase of five thousand per cent.
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Co-op Legal Services is laying off 60 of its 120 legal staff dealing with personal injury matters.