Kerry Underwood

ANYWHERE COUNTY COURT 2018: SEND IN THE CLOWNS

with 8 comments


Scene: One of the four remaining County Courts. A personal injury small claim hearing is taking place.

 

Judge:  

 

Good morning. Please introduce yourself.

 

Claimant’s Representative:

 

I am Fat Fred from the Dog and Duck.

 

Judge:

 

I have a note from the Ipswich Union Insurance Company saying:-

 

“Do your worst – £400.00. In fact as part of our Corporate Social Responsibility kick throw in the extra £25.00 for the psychological injury – that will get a nice bunch of flowers.”

 

Fat Fred:

 

I want as much as possible as quickly as possible. I am on 60% of damages.

 

Judge:

 

You mean 40% for you and 60% for your client?

 

Fat Fred:

 

I know what I mean. I am a McKenzie Friend. I can do what I want.

 

Judge:

 

I see. The medical evidence is from a Doctor Doolittle Is he here?

 

Fat Fred:

 

Yes, that’s me. I am a McKenzie Doctor – cheaper and I just make the evidence up.

 

Judge:

 

Well I am not sure about anything, so I am not going to make a decision at all – I am going to pretend that today never happened.

 

Fat Fred:

 

But you are a trained and qualified lawyer! It is your job to make a decision.

 

Judge:

 

Me? Trained? Qualified? Lawyer? Whatever gave you that idea?

 

I have no training, no qualifications, no knowledge, no experience, no ethics, no nothing.

 

I am the Lord Chancellor.

 

 

 

 

 

See my blog:-

 

PERSONAL INJURY SMALL CLAIMS LIMIT: CONSULTATION IN DETAIL

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Written by kerryunderwood

November 18, 2016 at 10:48 am

Posted in Uncategorized

8 Responses

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  1. This has made the whole office laugh out loud (and then start crying because its the truth)…

    suburbanlawmum

    November 18, 2016 at 11:22 am

  2. So sad that it is so near to the truth!

    Kerry

    November 18, 2016 at 12:14 pm

  3. Hi Kerry

    Excellent!

    I wonder if Ms Truss would regard suffering a serious injury as an opportunity to win a “jackpot”.

    May I please repost this on social media (Facebook, LinkedIn etc) – attributed to you, of course?

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    John Blackburn

    November 18, 2016 at 1:28 pm

  4. Dear Kerry, how wonderful. Made me laugh out loud on the train! We must run this as a back page – do I have your permission?
    Your costs updates have gone down v well – can we talk about some follow up articles and possibly a short series: “Kerry’s tips re how to make your business profitable post Jackson, post Grayling and post Brexit…”
    Let me know when you’re in the UK for a catch up pre or post-Christmas
    Kind regards
    Jan (& Fat Fred)

    Miller, Jan (LNG-HBE)

    November 21, 2016 at 8:37 am

    • Dear Jan

      Of course you do! You are alway very welcome to use anything from the blog.

      Will email you re other matters, but yes is the short answer- and I am in the UK!

      Kind regards
      Kerry

      kerryunderwood

      November 21, 2016 at 11:00 am


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