ELVIS: THE ABS

A Dick Chilblain Special !

As Elvismania grips Hertfordshire ahead of the King’s appearance at Bovingdon Cricket Club this Saturday Ace Reporter Dick Chilblain dropped in to Heartbreak Hotel, the HQ of the new Elvis Alternative Business Structure, where all advice is sung using the titles of Elvis songs.

Dick arrived as Penny Lane, a solicitor with an identity problem, re-capped her client’s position:

So, Long Tall Sally Quindell-Stobart you met Danny at A Little Cabin on the Hill. He asked Are You Lonesome Tonight; you said I Want You, I Need You, I Love You and there followed a Hawaiian Wedding Song.

That’s When Your Heartaches Began. Marie’s the Name of His Latest Flame. There was Trouble. You were All Shook Up and said “You’re A Heartbreaker.” Now you have only Memories and you want Money Honey.

LTSQ-S: Yes, that’s right. Why are you singing and curling your lip?

PL: That’s what we do here. Is it So Strange?

Next door Penny Lane’s colleague is seeing Danny. Fearless Dick Chilblain asked about Ethics:

“Yes, we will be opening an office there soon.”

So, Danny, Marie’s the Name of your Little Sister. This is about Suspicious Minds. You don’t want to go your Separate Ways. Long Tall Sally is Always on Your Mind. You want to Patch it Up.

DQ-S:Yes, why are you singing and wearing a gold suit?

Trust me – I am an Alternative Business Structure.

Mr Justice Moneybags of Singapore cut short his dream of publicly caning a few people to say that lawyers had to cut fees, and if needs be records and anything else, and this was a welcome move to keep whichever country he was now a judge in at the forefront of international commercial arbiration.

NEXT WEEK: Dick Chilblain visits the Upside Down Dentist Alternative Tooth Structure.

ABS Past would like to acknowledge the role of Mr Andrew Twambley in suggesting the idea of an Elvis ABS.